Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Done Lost My Mind!

This post is for no other reason than for myself to make sense of all of the strange things that pregnancy did to me in the future. I know that pregnancy does weird things to a person, and I have a pretty good feeling that's what this is all about.

First, I must provide a strong disclaimer -- I despise Tiger Woods. I might loathe him actually, but I won't get into all of that here. So a couple weeks ago I had a very vivid dream - that Tiger and I were dating. We had met at some party with mutual friends, and eventually that evening he had invited me to start going to his golf tournaments with him. He even had his pilot's license, so it was just him and I on his private jet touring the country and basically living the dream. He treated me like an absolute princess and it was a dream that at the time, thought I never wanted to wake up from. (I know, this is absolutely NUTS...I can't believe I'm writing this). When I woke up and saw Dan next to me in the middle of the night, I thought he was Tiger. I got up and went to the bathroom, and fell back asleep and picked up right where I left off. I woke up the next morning and thought it was Tiger who was calling me when my phone rang. It was so real. For 2 whole days, I thought that this dream was real. When I saw him playing on TV, I felt like I had already been there and witnessed that moment first-hand. Dan and I still laugh about this, and the funniest part is that I was actually attracted to him throughout the entire dream and thought he was just the greatest thing ever.

Finally a week later reality became reality again (thank GOODNESS). I didn't think anything more of this dream (besides the running jokes between Dan and I about this now). Until last night, when I am thinking I had what must have been yet another vivid dream. I do remember that I had a hard time falling asleep last night, and I am pretty sure that Little Miss was moving quite a lot. I think I felt like entire limbs moving across my entire lower abdomen...more than usual. Last night, either in a dream or reality, on my upper right side Little Miss was particularly active, and it was even stronger movements than I have ever felt before. At one point, I felt what I was so positive was a tiny little fist poking out of my belly and it was long enough that she held it right under my hand that was cupped around it. I also felt movement up by my ribs that was something I haven't felt before. It was surreal, and maybe it was. I could not stop thinking about this all day, running it through my mind over and over to try and figure out if it was real. I wish I could put into words what is going through my mind about this, but the closest thing I can relate it to is that picture that is viral online about the tiny baby hand reaching out and holding onto the surgeon's hand before the baby had been delivered. Seeing that picture for the first time is the closest thing that evoked the same feelings that I have about this if somehow it was real. I want to re-live that moment 100 times.

Mid-morning today I got an email from Pampers (one that I get weekly with pregnancy updates that I rarely ever open) and decided for some odd reason to open it. At the very end, the following paragraph caught my eye:

Dream weaver. If you're like most pregnant women, you've got an extremely vivid, even bizarre, nightlife once you nod off: You give birth to a full-grown son. You go through labor only to find...a litter of kittens. The newborn baby in your arms suddenly opens his mouth and says, "I love you, Mama." You may dream not just about your pregnancy and baby, either; many women report that their dreams during pregnancy are filled with wild adventures, heady love affairs, and strange occurrences, all rendered in Technicolor. What the heck is going on? The dramatic dreams of pregnancy may be due to the extra hormones coursing through your body. Or they may simply be your mind's way of dealing with the range of thoughts and emotions you're experiencing right now. Whatever the reason, enjoy your vibrant nighttime getaways, and don't take them too seriously.

Now if that isn't something confirming that I done lost my mind, I don't know what is!